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No parenting journey would be complete without the realization that your child ignores you. We all struggle to pay attention to everything we hear, so how do we teach our children this vital listening skill? Here are three practical steps to help children learn to take in and follow through with the information they hear: look, listen, and practice. First, Look: While we don’t hear with our eyes, looking while listening can help us to focus on the message. Before talking to your child about something essential or giving them directions, start with “Let’s look.” That gives both you and your child the signal to stop what you are doing and make eye contact. First, model this. When your child talks to you, put down your phone, pause the TV, and turn your eyes toward your child. He or she will be watching to see if you are paying attention, so show them the signs that you are. Second, teach your child to make eye contact by getting down to their level, say, “Look at Mommy,” and wait for eye contact before giving directions to your child. Second, Listen: Like a muscle to be trained, listening is a skill that takes practice. The sooner you teach your child this skill, the easier life will be for them in the future. Step one was to still and focus our bodies to pay attention. Step two is to still and focus our minds on the conversation. The quickest way to train your child to listen is to have them repeat what you have said, and then have them tell you what it means. At first, you will have to set the boundaries or expectations for them, but the goal of listening and training is for your child to begin to recognize the connection between what is said and what they should do. For example: Before you get out of the car at the store, you tell your child to stay close to you. To you that may mean to stand at your side or even hold the cart while you shop. To your child “close” might mean hugging your leg while you try to walk, ten feet away but within eyesight, or anywhere in the store until they get caught and belted into the cart. Back to our example: You pull up to the store and tell your child, “Look at mommy. Stay close to me the whole time we are outside of the car. What did I say?” It may take a few tries, but eventually after your child says, “Stay close to you,” ask, “Where is close?” You will probably have to tell them, “Hold onto my shirt,” or “Hold the side of the cart.” Set the boundaries and have your child say the boundaries. This ensures that you both know what is expected. Third, Practice: This one often gets skipped, but it can be the most effective part of teaching your child to listen and follow through. Before going to the store, completing a chore, joining a playgroup, etc., practice what is expected. For example: you and your child will be visiting friends. You’ve noticed that your child doesn’t like to share toys and will often cry, throw things, or even hit when around other children. Thirty minutes before you leave you kneel down next to your child and say, “Look at mommy.” Wait for eye contact, or direct your child to put down what they are doing and look up at you. Then say, “We are going to play with friends today. Sometimes friends want to play with the same toys. You will have to share and take turns. What did I say to do?” Let your child answer. Then ask, “How will you share and take turns?” Help your child come up with ideas for how to share or take turns. (Example: Each child can have ten seconds to play while the other child counts.) Now say, “Let’s practice.”